Stop hurting yourself, you don’t need to self-destruct just so he could see you bleed, you don’t need to pretend that you’re sedulous, it’s alright to be vulnerable, it’s acceptable to act human and feel burned out. It’s okay to cry, to weep, to break down but never ever implore attention, love or concernment.
Never settle for less than you deserve or decide out of desperation. Do not let anybody use you like an expendable credit, or an arbitrary cipher. You are worth more than those restless nights of despair, you are worth more than you can fathom. Get up, you are a sublime creation.