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Machs Nix

On tiptoe—careful not to make a sound.

Afraid that the broken pieces of my heart would further shatter if I miss a step. If I choose to carry the shame in silence, will it hurt less? I can’t even grieve for the things that I lost.

Lost—I lost something. My safe place, my clarity. A story that cannot be written without heartache, a confession marred by discomfiture. The poems I indite in my sleep are meaningless now, sullied by betrayal and lies.

Lies—Everything is a lie. A fabricated tale of “us against the world.” Happy endings do not exist for people like me. Maybe I don’t deserve it. Maybe the proverbial truth is right there in front of me, only I refuse to see it.

I want it back—I want my old self back.


8 thoughts on “Machs Nix

  1. Dear Cynthia,

    Life is like a mirror – it comes back with good and bad, with joy and sorrow as a reaction from the past. How often have we thought bad of people, how often did we hate people, how often did we do something that was not ok? Alone in our thoughts we have commited uncountable blamings for others – and so all those thoughts, all those words from our mouth, all deeds we have done so far, all have a reaction following the law of cause and effect. Sometimes we really have hard times and we only wish to enjoy good times – but these hard times remind us of the good times – although it sounds crazy but they bring us forward, although as bitter medicine. We learn to see life from different angles, different point of views and later we will say: It was a must – to learn to understand new things in our life, new perspectives.

    So I want to encourage you in this way, dear friend.

    A big hug to you (I have not forgotten you)


      1. Thanks, dear Cynthia 🙂

        Also you are very sweet – as always 🙂

        Here, in Finland we have a lot of snow and winter usually takes a long time over many months. In May, Spring is coming and then we have nearly 3 months quite warm summer.

        Last year I travelled a lot and visited also Chile, Germany, France, and India. Also this year I have planned some journeys abroad.

        Big hugs to you, my friend and remember to have a positive attitude whatever may come in your life.

        All that is good for you, my friend 🙂


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