broken · damaged · death · evil · fragmented · hate · lies · memories · pain · revenge · vanity

Cynthia’s Animus

The haunting echoes of yesterday maimed my senses

The ominous melody of sadness filled my thoughts

I closed my eyes. Reminisced

The memories still etched somewhere within my consciousness.

My private demons, detrimental chaos

The betrayal, the obvious loathing, never ending

I still have the names, written on a death note

Wishing hell has a room for the sinners, faded justice.

Karma. My pound of flesh, weighed in hate

I tasted revenge, my games undiscovered

Forgiveness? Only a mask of false comfort

The wounds never healed, the pain remained.

32 thoughts on “Cynthia’s Animus

  1. When we abandoned the notion of complete freewill, forgiveness becomes an understanding that we are all products of our environment and genetics. Had the offender a tumor in his head, that understanding would give you peace. Some of our hardwiring and environments, through no choice of our own is just plain bad luck. Most of us are lucky and can coincide with society. Others…not so much. Forgiveness becomes easier if we have an understanding of both philosophies. Freewill did not become a part of the church til the 4th century. The commandment to forgive by your own grace came about a few hundred years prior. Understand? 😜


    1. This is all too much to take in but I understand most of it. He he.

      Forgiveness is my own free will, it is my choice, even time cannot dictate when can I be able to forgive. It’s a long process and it’s all on me. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, that was the line that stood out the most for me too. Having recently offered forgiveness, that was “accepted” and then thrown back in my face – truly it is a false comfort.
      That being said, the act of forgiveness need only be known by yourself. You only control your own emotions and reaction to the actions of others – no amount of forgiveness can change another person, if you choose to forgive, do it for yourself and no other.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I really felt this one, Ragazza. The pains that have been burned into our souls by others sometimes make us feel like we can never really heal. We feel like the only way we will ever come to terms with those pains is if we see justice served to those who have harmed us. I’ve learned that people will eventually get theirs and I have to choose to let what was done to me go, because it just causes me more pain by holding onto it.

    This is really an awesome poem, my friend. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re very welcome, Ragazza. And, hey, don’t beat yourself up. You’re human and some things just take time to heal. No one ever said healing and forgiveness should be done in 2 days, or a month. It happens when the heart is ready. You’ll know it because you’ll feel it. 🙂💕

        Liked by 1 person

  3. What a post with such feeling lovely. I find it unique that you choose the word Animus which carries two meanings that probably applies to you and this post. One meaning of the word is hostility which is clear, the other meaning is the motivation to do something and you are such a strong person that the meaning applies to you.
    So many sayings pass by us everyday like…it’s easy to forgive than to forget, revenge is a dish best served cold, kill them with kindness, keep your friends close and your enmities closer and my favorite…..patience is a virtue, but not a requirement. One can not determine how forgiveness will come and go, especially when feelings are involved and how close the people were. It takes time and each soul heals their own way, and writing really helps the break put itself back together so you are stepping in the right direction. But I tell you lovely, don’t let it consume you because it’s like drinking poison and waiting for your enemies to get sick and die, it’s pointless. Time will heal, but the process starts with self healing also, don’t let them beat you, you’re stronger than that.❤️🌹

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This is such an inspiring comment, Roy. It got me a little teary eyed and I love it. I am glad because you were able to connect with the message that I’m trying to share. I love reading your comments. I am thankful for that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This was a powerfully emotional post lovely, and I’m happy you loved my comment. I try to connect❤️ and your message seemed very clear. Your writing is talent filled and I love your post as you do my comments.🌹. Which makes me thankful for you.😊


  4. Yk Ragazza they say time heals every wound and but you know it may heal it but the scars are still there… they haunt us and take us back to the memory lane on why it occurred .
    Great poem 😊😊


  5. Among the deepest pain there always is the answer. Listen to your heart, not your emotions. They are very different. Your heart holds truth. Your poetry is beautiful, but dark. Open the windows and let the sun shine it to heal. Today is waiting.

    Liked by 1 person

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