breaking free · heartbreak · pain

Breakaway

HE IS NOT AFRAID TO LOSE YOU. This is something that you have to understand, no matter how painful, no matter how unfair, no matter how much it would kill you. You can’t keep lying to yourself that it will get better, because it wont, you can’t convince yourself that he will change, because he won’t, not for you.

 

You can’t cry yourself to sleep every night hoping that tomorrow you’ll wake up with his soft kisses, or a loving hug, or a whisper of love and apology, because he will never do that, he’s probably on a deep slumber of negligence while you are slowly breaking beside him. He’s probably inside the comfort of “IDGAF”

You can’t keep asking yourself why you were never good enough, because you are more than enough, he is just too fucking blunt to seeĀ that, he is so full of himself he thinks he’s out of your league, he thinks that you can never find someone better than him, but you will, you have to believe that he is not the one for you, he is just a conceited son of a — who likes to use your feelings to his advantage. He is an absolute prick who needs to be rattled out of his glorified ego.

You have to get out of hisĀ prison, You have to break away from his mendacious abuse, because you don’t deserve any of that. You are a beautiful creation, you can’t see yourself as a woman who can’t live without him in your life, he sees you as a worthless and expendable possession because you let him think of you that way, but you are not.

The lies, the deceits, the manipulations; it’s going toĀ happen over and over and over again, until your heart runs out of love to give, until every piece of you screams hate and regret, until there is nothing more to live for, don’t ever let that happen. Don’t ever let this lying-inconsiderate-jerk take your life, destroy it and throw it away. I don’t want you to wake up one day feeling sorry forĀ yourself, because you wasted your entire life loving the wrong person, and you can never take it back, you are going to be so empty because you gave him everything you have and it’s not going to be easy to start over and move on with all the loathing and remorse restrained for so long.

This is going to hurt like hell. It’s not going to be facile. It’s going to take a lot of valor to get through something like this. But you have to try, you have to learn how to quit something that will never ever work, like ever.

Look at yourself in the mirror, C’mon, do it. What do you see? What do you really see? Are you happy? Can you really smile without faking it? Can you really live like this for the rest of your life? If you can lie to yourself and endure this screwed-up romance, then you have to live with your choice, you have to be stronger, love harder and maybe, in the most compelling possibility, he’ll definitely learn how to changeĀ and see you as the wonderful woman that you truly are.

But if you cannot put up with it anymore, look at yourself again, and remember this; You are worth it. You’ve always been.

 

77 thoughts on “Breakaway

  1. Hi and thanks for visiting my blog! I really like the way you write so keep going. I think we have kind of similar writing style. A lot of feelings and darkness. If you want something to improve I think your blog itself doesn’t look so pretty. (For example it’s hard to see the name in front of your cover photo.) But I wouldn’t worry too much about it. If you write good content (like you clearly do) no one will care how your site looks like. šŸ™‚

    Good luck with your blog writing!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ha-ha. I think so too, my site doesn’t look appealing like the others, so I’d like to improve the content. Yeah, I know right, we’re kinda similar because I like writing deep, dark poetry, kind of on the negative side of experience.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Same here and writing at night is the most inspiring time for me! Even if I currently only write about travelling and “happier” things to my blogs my computer and papers all over my apartment are full of sad and dark writings.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. So, the dark and sad writings that you have stored deeply in your apartment, where did that come from? I mean, were you in a bad relationship? or a bad experience?

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      3. School can be pretty annoying and stressful, and I went through that as well, when I was a student, and I believe that you’ll get through it. When I am upset or agitated, I find solace in writing, it makes me feel better.

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      4. Your write beautifully! You show vulnerability and authenticity while not being melodramatic. Keep going. Thank you.

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      5. Thank you so much! I haven’t been able to write these past few days, I guess I haven’t had any inspiration, or I think I’m having the so called writer’s block, but I’ll get past this. You take care!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderfully written and insightful. It is an emotional piece and stirring. I wanted to also say thank you for visiting my blog, the follow and for your comments. I truly look forward to reading more of your writings. I love your name šŸ˜‰ Cynthia is of the moon and light.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much. this means a lot to me, I never thought that people would actually read anything I write, I mean, we love writing, and it’s totally a great experience for me to meet people like you, we share the same passion, we connect in a weird yet effective way. I will learn a lot from you guys. Thank you!

      Liked by 2 people

    1. We are all broken at one point in our lives, and the worst thing is we can’t talk about it, we can’t let the world have the chance to justify our weakness. I think that the worst part of being with someone who doesn’t see your worth is believing that it’s actually the truth, and we live through it, we think that we deserve nothing more than what is handed to us, and that for me is the most painful thing a woman could feel. It makes me really sad just by writing this.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Your writing is so good it hurts! Haha! Really though, you’re awesome. This is a tough subject, but we all have to let go of the toxic things/people in our lives at some point.

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    1. You think so? Thank you so much. I’ve put my heart into that Blog, and it’s dedicated to one of my friends, who needs to really wake up and be free from a controlling person, and I hope she’ll find the strength to just love herself, more than anyone.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You can give all the advise as a friend. Ultimately though, it’s up to the person on what she would choose for herself. Being a Christian, I pray for people’s hearts and wisdom for them to realize these things.

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      2. I really hope she’ll come around. It hurts to know that a woman is hurting because of too much love, and the worst part is, she’s not getting the end of the deal, so it hurts me to see that.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yup. Haha! I’ve been thinking of putting up a “Contact Me” page on my blog ’cause I just realized I dont have one. I was wondering how I could talk to you more.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Hi. My Facebook name is Cynthia Anne Stephanie Hernandez. You? I’m sorry for the late reply, I got caught up with work. It’s Halloween and I’m still in the office. happy Halloween!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I was just so sad and upset when I was writing this, and when I’m upset, or sad, or angry, I think I write better, Ha-ha. Thank you for taking your time to read this post. I could really hug you right now.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Awww. You’re most welcome! You’re such a sweet person. I could really hug you too right now.

        I know what you mean. Sometimes I write better when I’m sad or upset or angry, too! I just hope you’re aren’t sad a lot of the time.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Actually I am sad a lot. Ha-ha. I am a dramatic person, I mean, I go out and see smiling people or a laughing group of friends, and I was like; “Why can’t I be happy like that?” Tragic.

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      3. Awww, I’m sorry. I promise one day you’ll know how to make yourself happy. You’ll find your happiness, don’t worry. Do you have a snapchat or Instagram or wattpad account…or an email address?

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I absolutely love this piece! It is deep and so honest! Many do not understand the struggles one goes through when they love something that isnt always good for them. This brings alot of that to light!

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    1. Yes. This is about a friend of mine, we’re not that close though, I cannot tell her to quit on something unhealthy – this relationship is destroying her, maybe she’s not aware, or maybe she is scared that he might truly leave her, know knowing that it might be the best thing that could happen.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Too often we find ourselves or our loved one in relationships such as these. What I’ve learned in life, the lesson is unavoidable. For some reason, we can’t escape it. It’s very sad. .

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nicely expressed! Guys sometimes are too blind to see, the beauty that should forever capture their gaze. They may not notice a womanā€™s worth, but theyā€™re truly more than enough! Blessings!

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  7. Wow! I felt this deeply within my heart, Ragazza! So powerful and encouraging! No one deserves to be treated in such a horrible way and this post reminds us of that. šŸ˜Š Beautifully written, my friend! šŸ™ŒšŸ½

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      1. Youā€™re very welcome, lovely! Aww! Itā€™s good to know Iā€™m missed! I missed you too and so happy to see your posts! šŸ¤— Iā€™m doing awesome. Been working on some stuff for the blog that I will post in October and dealing with personal life. lol šŸ˜

        How are you doing?

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      2. Yey. I am so looking forward to what you’ve been cooking. Hehe. Good luck with that.

        I am good. I had a petty argument with someone from Twitter, I don’t know, it’s nothing.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Lol! I’m so happy you’re looking forward to it! I hope what I’m cooking won’t disappoint you! haha! šŸ˜„

        That sucks you had an argument with someone on Twitter. Was it like a troll or something? šŸ˜Ÿ

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  8. I’m still wondering how those words came out so coordinated yet angrily. Certainly no one would have done it better than the author. Good job!

    I’ve had such challenging moments too when hope hung from the tiniest string. I tried out the courage of letting go but after a few months, like four months, it all seemed like the best I would ever have was all gone in my past.

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    1. Good for you, some people spend their whole life trying to make sense of it all, living in the past like a lost soul holding on to what’s left of themselves. I was that girl, but this particular piece is for an aquaintance. šŸ˜‚

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