The Doldrum

 

Yes. You are nothing. You are boring, distant, you are so much of a waste. You disgust me. You make me sick. You are weak, too damn weak to admit how irrelevant you are. You lost your battle a long time ago, you ruined yourself with your own hands, you mocked every opportunity the world has presented to you. You don’t deserve a second chance. You had your chance but you turned it against yourself.

You are the weakest link. Why fight now? Let the darkness consume you, let yourself go. Don’t fight it.

Why do you keep trying? Why do you exist? Why do you search for a world that doesn’t closely resemble hell?

You can’t be saved. You have no place here. You are doomed to fail.You have failed. Walk through oblivion. Alone.

 

 

Advertisements

127 Comments

      1. Some days it’s an effort to just get out of bed. I know the feeling, though not the circumstance. I usually lose myself in some book or TV show when I feel this way, and to try and stop myself from thinking about stuff. Sometimes the mind just needs to turn off. This works for me… I don’t know if it’ll work for you, since everyone’s different, but it’s worth a try.

        Like

  1. Hope you are ok, my sweet friend. You are the opposite of everything written in this post. As long as we have breath in our body, the universe has some use for us – we may not be able to see it….but i do believe that is true.
    So we don’t have to fight the darkness – just move to the light. In easy steps, with a single smile, a single note of music, a single moment in sunshine. My best wishes and prayers for a shower of smiles upon all who worry they amount to naught. If we are alive, we are a shining star in creation…bit by bit we will figure out where we are to shine….no worries, only smiles πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

      1. It’s ok – life goes in cycles…sometimes we just need silence and quiet and then we can come back and be super-active. You are a wonderful blogger and such a giving person – nothing can change that! πŸ™‚ Take it easy and keep smiling. love and hugs. πŸ™‚

        Like

      2. I’ll be praying for you – for sunshine, flowers and smiles to touch you and all darkness to take flight. Take care of yourself….you are a sweet inspiration for so many of us. πŸ™‚

        Like

      3. Thank you. I am so happy and I am actually tearing up right now because no one cares about my feelings, but I posted something bad and you guys are so quick to comment and check on me, I am so lucky.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, that’s sad to hear. But, I am confident you will be okay in no time. The massiha of newbies can’t be in an unwell condition for long time. Take care, dear. 😘😘 Loads of love.

        Like

  2. Been there, had that feeling, struggled with it million of times, yet always was able to find a way back to the brighter light !
    Just trust the process, it approaches you to take you out from the darkness, you didn’t know there was at the first place !
    Wishes and love ! take care πŸ™‚

    Like

      1. It happens to all of us, and its okay to feel down and empty.
        We don’t have a control over others, as much as expectations are humane and they are pertinent for our functioning to constantly remind us that we are emotional beings, its necessary to always remember, its not your fault and you are not accountable for the actions of those around you. You are responsible for yourself and your happiness, make sure that remains intact ! πŸ™‚
        Smile, cause that will straighten out things for you !

        Like

      2. Of course you won’t, cause you are an amazing person whose words have impacted so many people around, and you have your words to take you out of any crisis, what else do you need to fight them ! πŸ™‚

        Like

  3. Hey cheer up girl! I can feel your words. Indeed life is a struggle, After every dark night, there is beautiful bright day waiting to hug you go for it! πŸ˜ŠπŸ€—πŸ’–

    Like

      1. No please don’t!
        You’re a good person, you have your good points and bad ones as everybody else. Don’t be sad, you have knowledge that other people don’t have, you know how to do things other people never heard. Keep your head high girl! You’re pretty, you’re smart, you probably speak more than one language, you blog, you have fans… what do you want more?!
        Be happy, you worth a lot

        Like

      2. Thank you, dear. That means a lot to me. I appreciate my life, but sometimes, you can’t avoid feeling bad about yourself, it happens. This is one of those days.

        Like

  4. You are so far from those descriptions in this post. I see such a beautiful person and I look at how so many people are taking the time to make sure you know that. Look at all these lives you are touching. Your light shines brighter than you think and I want you to know you are a special person. I don’t know your battles, but seeing that you still wake up every morning to face them tells me you are resilient. I hope you find your peace and happiness soon. Sending you a big warm hug, my friend. πŸ™‚

    Like

    1. Thank you so much, Manessah. I am so grateful and happy because of the love everyone is showing me, I feel guilty because I realised that I didn’t have to feel this way, no not at all. But, it happens, I need to be strong, and you guys are making it easier. So thank you, I don’t deserve any of this, but I am thankful.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, you’re very welcome, Ragazza. And don’t ever feel bad for being human. We all have our days (I had a very sad day yesterday). Sometimes it’s hard to smile and keep a happy spirit, even when we know we have so many reasons to be grateful. It happens. But, just remember that you always have people here that support you and you are so deserving of all the love and happiness you can receive. Never forget that. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’–

        Like

  5. OK. Having a church-lady moment here: There is a real enemy and he tells that kind of garbage to ALL of us. He’s LYING. The TRUTH is that you are loved just the way you are by a God who is everything you’ve ever wanted and more. He doesn’t offer a magic-wand solution, but He will take what you’ve got and turn it, piece by piece, into something of amazing and eternal beauty. Blessings!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. My dear Regazza what happened to that lovely heart? I see so many lies in this post. You are talented, you are valued, you are beautiful, you have meaning, you have purpose, you are strong, you are needed, you are a friend, a daughter, a woman of power, your destiny awaits, your smile encourages others, your readers click your posts to see what you have to say! You are so much more than these lies would have you believe! Don’t listen to them. Listen to the voices of those who love and appreciate you. Do what you love. Spend time with those who believe in you. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Dwell on the love of God who has a wonderful plan for your life. “I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.
    Nothing happens by chance, not a raindrop, not a breath, not a laugh, or a tear, all of it builds towards something beautiful. Be encouraged, you are awesome! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This made me tear up. Thank you so much for making me feel that I am loved, reading your comments, your support and sweet words, you guys are so amazing, I will try to cheer up, this too shall pass.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You are very welcome. πŸ™‚ Can I challenge you? Take these positive words that all of us have given to you and declare them over yourself every day for a week. Even if you don’t feel like some of them are true, declare them. I promise you your world will feel very different. I wish you a super blessed weekend!

        Like

  7. I hope you start feeling better. We all go through rough patches, some worse than others. But I think we come out stronger in the end because of it. You are amazing, and you inspire me. Keep on keeping on. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Well, it’s hard to indicate “like” when like might imply happy. I certainly appreciate what you say. My first reaction while reading was, I hope I never get on her bad side. But since this is in a first-person, confessional voice, my main reaction is, I’m sorry you’re on the bad side of you. Not without reason, even if you might not be right. I mean, there are reasons for feeling this way. The advice for writers is to keep writing. Is it fair advice to say for those of us who live to keep living? Keep living, please, and, if possible, be easy. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I can feel the pain in every words πŸ˜”. I’ve been through it, and I’m perfectly fine now. You’ll get through it. Just write it out. It helps. And prayers as well. Always remember, things happen for a reason. The ways might be hard and painful, but its always for the better. Just hold on to the good and you’ll be alright, you’ll be much stronger, you’ll see… πŸ˜‡πŸ™β˜πŸ‘πŸ‘Š

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m looking at this as reverse psychiatry maybe because I say pain is just weakness leaving the body and that’s leaving nothing but strength lovely.🌹. You know a doldrum has to do with a sudden storm that starts off calmπŸ˜‰! 🌹. You’re a storm!❀️

    Like

      1. There is always a rainbow after the storm gorgeous and you believe that. I’m glad you’re feeling better, whenever you feel down, look in the mirror and smile because that’s reason right there to lift your spirits. Whatever got you down, you’re better than that. We’re here for you.🌹❀️

        Like

  11. Strong stuff Ragazza! Hope you’re feeling better now. With a gentle smile like that you won’t ever go too far wrong… πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      1. One more thing that might be mildly reassuring for you: a few ‘dark nights of the soul’ are to be expected once in a while for those people in touch with their inner being. Some degree of suffering or a sense of ‘unsatisfactoriness’ is always necessary for spiritual progress. When you find a legitimate path and start progressing, the ups and downs should start to even out and become less frequent, and you won’t be so disturbed by them. Enough from me. Good luck!

        Like

  12. However dark this may be, I hope it’s a relief that you wrote it out. I know once it’s out it begins to fade away and you know exactly the type of emotions you’re up against.

    How do you feel now ?
    Keep fighting β™₯β™₯ Hope you feel better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. This poem sounds like you’re beating yourself up? Why?
    Depression is hard. Sadness hurts.
    But there are people who genuinely care for you and your writing brings joy to a lot of people.
    You’ll get through this.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Beautiful prose! Sorry if I don’t read much of your material but I try to limit the time using my computer(other than writing) because I’ve seen that I’m keen on procrastinating and then strain my eyes. I’ll read now and then a poem or story of yours.
    Don’t worry if you’re feeling sad. Since you’re aware of that and you want it to change, it will in time. I feel a lot of boredom this summer that school is over, but I know it can’t reign on me forever. Nothing can.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I like how pain connects people more than comfort. Once a great writer quoted that it was foolish to read a creation to know about the contemporaries and about the writer. I am not a believer of that idea. I think that the words dripping from a writer’s pen are his blood…and his state of mind, agony in your case, and the tumult of his life. Clearly you are in pain and troubled. Haunting past, isn’t? Mind sharing?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m doing so much better now. I just hate myself sometimes and I think that I am not worth it, but I realised that have to love and appreciate myself a little bit more. Thank you for the concern.

      Like

  16. What you wrote​ perfectly represents what Satan would say to us to push us toward self-destruction. What God tells us through Jesus, is completely the opposite. Your writing inspired me to share “God’s take” on this.

    Yes. You are nothing.
    I have called you by name: you are mine. (Isaiah 43: 1)

    You are boring, distant, you are so much of a waste.
    You formed my inmost being; you knit in my mother’s womb.
    I praise you because I am wonderfully made. (Psalm 139: 14)

    You disgust me. You make me sick.
    You are precious in my eyes and honored, and I love you. (Isaiah 43:4)

    You are weak, too damn weak to admit how irrelevant you are.
    β€œMy grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I [Paul, the Apostle] will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell within me. (II Corinthians 12:9)

    You lost your battle a long time ago, you ruined yourself with your own hands, you mocked every opportunity the world has presented to you.
    Do not love this world or the things of this world…The world and its enticement are passing away. But whoever does the will of God remains forever. (I John 2:15, 17)

    You don’t deserve a second chance. You had your chance, but you turned it against yourself.
    So he was left alone with the woman before him. Then Jesus straightened up and said to her, β€œWoman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She replied, β€œNo one, sir.” Then Jesus said, β€œNeither do I condemn you. Go, [and] from now on do not sin any more.” (John 8: 9b-11)

    You are the weakest link. Why fight now? Let the darkness consume you, let yourself go. Don’t fight it.
    β€œI am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life. (John 8:12)

    Why do you keep trying? Why do you exist? Why do you search for a world that doesn’t closely resemble hell?
    All who are called by my name I created for my glory. (Is. 43:7)

    I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed for us. For creation awaits with eager expectation the revelation of the children of God; for creation was made subject to futility, not of its own accord but because of the one who subjected it, in hope that creation itself would be set free from slavery to corruption and share in the glorious freedom of the children of God. We know that all creation is groaning in labor pains even until now, and not only that, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, we also groan within ourselves as we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. (Romans 8:18-23)

    He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, [for] the old order has passed away.
    (Revelation 21:4)

    You can’t be saved. You have no place here. You are doomed to fail. You have failed. Walk through oblivion. Alone.
    Behind and before you encircle me and rest your hand upon me.
    (Psalm 139:5)

    If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but handed him over for us all, how will he not also give us everything else along with him? Who will bring a charge against God’s chosen ones? It is God who acquits us. Who will condemn? It is Christ [Jesus] who died, rather, was raised, who also is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us. What will separate us from the love of Christ? Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or the sword? For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-35, 38-39)

    Peace be with you. Kevin

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s